Month: November 2021

A Magical Year

There was a time in my life, in my late 20s, when I was trying to launch onto a career path and stabilize myself into adulthood, where I became mildly obsessed with the question of where magic had gone. Not card trick, disappearing dove magic, but the kind that we all swim in during childhood, rediscover in adolescence and occasionally bump into in our early adult years. For me, as a little boy, this was anything from garbage trucks, to action figures, to washing machines, midnights and tooth-fairies. Then later, friendships, travel, discovery. As I approached 30, it seemed that all the magic there was to be in life had extinguished itself and been replaced by responsibility, strategic decision-making and mature routine living.

Love, marriage and pregnancy are all magical in their way – in their noble mystery. But there is nothing quite as magical as witnessing, experiencing and supporting a new life from its very beginning.

We celebrated Aleksander’s first birthday a few days ago, in Dubai because why not, and predictably, we reflected on this past year: on the changes, on the challenges, on the absolutely perfectly distilled joy of it all. We looked through pictures and videos, marvelled at how tiny he and his outfits first were, and how our life had become a rearranged and somehow elevated version of its past self.

All while Aleksander sat nearby, chewing our fingers, practicing his baby squats and making us smile. Living his magical little existence without any sense of the impact he’s unleashed in our world.

None of this is to say that it’s been non-stop rainbows and gelato scoops – from day to day, it can often feel like the exact opposite of that. A former boss told me when Dalia was pregnant that parenthood is the hardest thing you’ll ever do in life and also completely worth it. I shrugged that off as hyperbole but one year into Aleksander’s life, I couldn’t find a more accurate description if I tried.

I have a whole new respect for parents, any and all. In fact, now when I see a family out on a stroll, I barely even notice the kids (and how cute and lovely they are) but check for the look of parenthood in the adults’ eyes and want to slow-clap and thank them for their efforts. Parents are heroes. There are other heroes amongst us, but parents are maybe the most important and ordinary of the lot. And since they lack both the time and energy, they won’t even mange to bother you with any outward indication of the fact.

As a first time father at 40, it’s also been a unique experience for me. Exhausting, rejuvenating, all-encompassing, engrossing, focussing. This past year as a new dad, on-going husband, trainee diplomat and transplanted Italian, I feel that in the best of moments I’m operating at 90% capacity – managing all the things, but with a slim margin for error or much ability to add more to the plate. Something like grad school but with your thesis waking you up before the alarm (always), occasionally bumping its head into tears and needing editing a few times an hour, every day, with no deadline in sight. And like grad school, you do it and keep doing it. Because every giggle is an A+, every snuggle a degree, and every new skill an absolute breakthrough.

The magic of a little person discovering the world, moment by moment, element by element, is indescribably inspiring, humbling and moving. And as a parent you’re afforded not only a front row seat but a share of the experience, a sense of co-creation. You see creativity, awe, understanding, joy, desire, effort, discovery, success, striving through a joint view. You witness these little miracles being born into a world for the first time. You feel them, in your heart, all through your bones. You remember the awesomeness of humanity, of love, kindness, sacrifice. You wake up, you go to sleep and somehow a whole year passes by. And slowly you realize, maybe for the first time in a while, that your entire existence is again suspended in a world of magic.

And also that it’s still the beginning of a long journey, and that that’s a really good thing.

Boys Birthday Week in Dubai

Since Aleksander and I share a birthday week in late October/early November, I felt a certain responsibility to make sure his first birthday destination was appropriately fitting, and, since there is almost nowhere on Earth I’d rather be at that time of year that Dubai, and, since Dalia’s brother and expectant wife live there too, the city was a no brainer for a boys birthday week trip.

The flight from Rome to Dubai is the longest we’ve taken since Aleksander was born but is still a reasonable distance for a young family at between 5 and 6 hours. The Emirates flight was quite full of babies and toddlers and the seating arrangements and staff preparedness made us feel as good as possible about the journey.

We landed in Dubai and immediately went back to Italian summer weather conditions. I worked a contract in Dubai for six months in 2008 and we spent six week in Abu Dhabi in 2018 so the region is both familiar and always new.

We started the week of celebrations at one of Dubai’s famous Sunday brunches. This one a children’s themed event in the popular JBR beach area. The variety and abundance of food immediately reminded us what Dubai is all about and as much as Italian food is fabulous, the portions and variety are quite modest. Time to put on some birthday weight!

After spending a few hours eating, walking it off and relaxing, we headed towards an evening stroll at the newly (since we where here last) developed The Pointe pier, with a fantastic view of the famous Atlantis Palm hotel. We had an evening drink and took in the musical fountain display with Aleksander pulling us excitedly this way and that.

The next day started in the modern heart of Dubai at the foot of the Burj Khalifah tower with breakfast and some pictures of the least populated visit we’ve ever had there.

We met one of my brother’s good friends and former teammate who’s playing volleyball in the Gulf (lowkey world famous Ray Szeto) and took Aleksander on a visit of the impressive Aquarium in the mall. So many new sights and sounds for our little guy!

After a few hours perusing the Dubai Mall, mostly with our phones out calculating that exchange rates were even crazier than in Italy, we popped out again and took even more pictures of this incredibly impressive architectural achievement. No word of a lie, it’s so incredible, it’s almost spiritual. Amazing what humanity can achieve in this day and age.

The next day, leaving the confines of standard Dubai neighbourhoods, we decided to check out this years delayed World Expo happening in a newly created area in the city outskirts. As an international couple, born abroad, having met abroad and living overseas now, the Expo brought back many memories for us. Of Belgium where we met; Poland, Russia and Sudan, where we’re from; and loads of other countries that we’ve either visited or hope to one day. We merrily stamped our event passport and really felt like we went around the world in one day. As with most things in Dubai, this event did not disappoint.

Dalia isn’t quite the sun worshipping beach lover that I am so I used the next day to sneak away for a few hours of tanning (and writing) at the La Mer beachfront. I had a fabulous burger for lunch and was able to write the percolating reflection about the magic of life with Aleksander after one year. I don’t know if, as a Canadian, I could ever get fully used to beach life in November, but if I must, I can keep trying 😉

In the evening, we reconnected with the family and visited the seasonally open Global Village – something like Dubai’s old school version of Expo. We ate freshly grilled Bosnian style kebabs, visited more country and continent displays (including Rome and the Colosseum!), and of course, played some high stakes carnival games. Daddy proudly sinking two out of three baskets to win us a giant banana.

After an eventful few days in the city, we hit the road to visit Dalia’s paternal uncle who lives in the nearby Emirate of Al Ain. On the way, Dalia wanted to do a quick desert pregnancy photo shoot for her brother and wife, and since the lighting was quite good, we snuck in a few great photos of our own little trio. This ended up being one of the most serene, unexpected and beautiful experiences of the week. The pictures speak for themselves!

After filling up on laughs and Middle Eastern delicacies with yet another branch of our extended family tree, we aimed our sights on Abu Dhabi next. Also, a fairly short drive from Dubai, we spent six weeks in Abu Dhabi in the fall of 2018 when I was sent there for work. We both have fond memories of that time and I wanted to sneak in a visit to some of my favourite spots and also meet some colleagues still there. Again, the hi-light for me was birthday beach day! You may be starting to get the hint, I’m mildly beach obsessed. We ate, we tanned, we swam, we conquered!

As our week was quickly winding down, we returned to Dubai for our last night of birthday week celebrations. We shared a fabulous Greek meal at Madinat Jumeirah. Again, happy to be warm, with family and well-fed on a beauty evening out.

From there, one of the hi-lights of the year and not only week. For the first time since Aleksander’s birth, we got a date!!!!!!! Uncle and auntie agreed to babysit and, if with some heartache, we agreed.

We went to QD’s for a few drinks and sheesha. Reflected on the incredible first year of life as parents. Reconnected. And, as always, shared our thanks for this wonderful journey we’re on.

Next stop: back home to Rome!